THE WAY WE DID IT

the way we did it was,
the way we used to do it,
the way we had to do it:

this could be us but u
know I fxcked it up, like
the only way I know how
to be honest is in the poetry tags
between the cheese platter and
the illustrator format. the only way
I know how to be honest
is in the middle of poems
because people skim like milk

   the beauty of a silkworm / it spins
its feelings. the history of the world
in a thread. the strongest natural material
in the world / is emotions. like atrophos
with her abhorred shears at the 5$ hairdresser /
call the salon samsara. today I choked my sink
bare with my hands / every time I comb my hair /
thoughts of you get in my eyes / 
the magus formerly
known as prince

I know you’ll pooh-pooh that. not you,
the other you. the one who’s tried
so hard to stop believing.

so, the way we used to do it. all fragment and pear / sweet blackeyed hackneyed sorghum rearing back past the parameters of good taste. mangosteen season. you know it’s offensive, but I’m so hung up on the taste of that honey. I put my face over that place in your chest and stuck a needle into the smooth plum heart there, a banana blossom larger than your fist. why’d I have to go and do that? why couldn’t I leave well enough alone?

relinquish. the red thread you tie ties you. why couldn’t I stop with the fishhooked mouth, terrorising the storm, refusing to smoke out the forest fires, tailgating, shoplifting, looking every horse in every mouth?

I’m the carmine beetle caught in my own throat. so I fucked up. I’m the dragon, I got hided and tanned, do you want anything else with that comeuppance? I invented bruising, manicures, and the sunday sermon. I’m sorry now. I’m utterly bereft and I’ll leave you to happiness / if you can withstand it. the heirloom pearls, the atlas moths. we can go to a late-night viewing if you want. it’s that time. a franchise I never got around to agreeing to watch.

stop thinking about it. today with my eyes like moonlit piss pools. recognise. I’m just a dumb ghost / hung up / on not being whole. making room. tuning the lights to an acceptable hue. pressing both thumbs down back when we still had cassette players on both fast-forward and rewind. of course you know what happens. of course you do. once I saw centipede larvae trying to maul each other fat, translucent-white, blind. utterly harmless but attempting to kill. this is not my problem but it still hurts / this is my problem so I swallow

again / so tell me what my problem is. / a hurting lane. how my fucked up feet prevent dancing. coming uncharted by wikipedia pages. taking pop lyrics as a personal affront. seeing through a veil darkly. my labyrinthine communication skills. an inability to / pick up / and put down objects at appropriate times.

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DAY 5 – TYPED AN N AND YOUR NAME CAME UP

u can’t pry

how far the water falls 

flat / no depth perceived

a single third eye
wishing well means

every misplaced coin

for an I Hope

You Are Happy
regretting wrong means
the paradox of you

can have it / only if

you don’t need it

labradorite scabbed

scarab / excise me, I

just need to ventolin

fumble inhaler suck

an urgent raspy blessing. 

if you can’t close your eyes

with confidence you can’t

call it resting. / your naked tongue 

a holy text. burdensome 

and prone to mess. 
I’m saying I / know not to

wreck. / or at least better

than I should. the carbon

copies run our blood / the

photostat ink whiff is puce. 

the difference is from / come

on in & come in on. come

the fuck on / pls come back. 

I love / when violent skies. 
the ebullient bulbous. a fragment

of loud ass whisper. 

sat myself down / self-care is

conducting interrogation

with a bedside lamp.

DAY 4

NO ONE ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO USE MICROSOFT OUTLOOK

there is no WEEP in team but there is a MEAT we
create a timeline for healing with a KPI
jack-donaghy shouting SYNERGY and
you give yourself grief / being locked in the cubicle
sorrow is a vac-u-lock dong dock a
modular approach / methodical peeling
quick / what are the twelve safe sex uses
of saran wrap? how does one apply voodoo to
long-distance massages & skype substitutes?
it’s not skinning / if we’re smiling. / doesn’t
the word spitroast
get stuck in your teeth ?
leave me with the
creme fraiche. /// haven’t you
made yourself here
useful enough?

make yourself submerged
eggs. bed in benedict. aged
casks of alarm clocks and
other vibratory essences.
you are not squinting you
just slept a stupid amount.
your capillaries a
cranberry rustle. moth-
eden crumble. a shirt you
stole from her bottom drawer.
a Smart Whiteboard glitching
refusing erasing

DAY 3 – THEY SCREW RIGHT OFF AND ARE EASY TO CLEAN

sa sa sa is how hentai lesbians
hiss in pain. they say I miss. say you
’ll never be happy so go for it anyway.
not the lesson I wanted to learn.
use a reed diffuser to de-internalise
suffering. get a candle called Island Spa.
we don’t play rough any more with

the cow’s bells. I’m going to give
your teat a ring. have nothing
but oranges in my mouth. you
don’t want the stainless steel
but

in another story you
turn around. with your forearms
grasp the wheel. number 10.
which 1+0 becomes
number 1. numerology. it
is easy. know you’re bad
at math. you’re running in now
from the pitch like sweat
is free. like saltwater’s
holy. the day after I got
a stomach ache like grief
and blood between my sheets
even if it’s only number 17
of the cycle

DAY 2 – EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW A SECRET

like seedless grapes are never
satisfied       I sieve the body erotic.
mash up our potato wounds like no one
deserves you / deserts you     you’re
the lone eclair on the sushi conveyor.
so what / if I’m allergic to this and this and
you’re environmentally-aloof and
sometimes I still think of getting you
matching cutlery
not for the earth just your ocd
your watchless wands,
your wasted hands
a measured fix of foolery
so what if I’m / afraid of hurting
?          mandarin doesn’t constrain
interpretation
of the referent
I can say anything unselfish
I really want to say
like surreptitious grape hands
over skin pulp peelin frappe
teabagged the qoo mascot
to show it ideas of ‘good’
are mutable

DAY 1 – GEMSTONES OF THE WORLD

three times we pressed the rose quartz
back      you twice I just the once
because you did              the cheap adhesive the only stone
what wouldn’t stay

nighttime she drops       a final click
and I leave her be
off the charts
like she wants

D says letting it be
means to work at it
constantly

in this you and I
cease to disagree

DAY 11 – GET OFF ON DISEASE, TERRIFIC ORGASMS; UNROMANTICISE CHEATED HEARTS

main acrostic by jenny holzer. title acrostic reference to bloodhound gang.

I tessellate, inevitably.

strangers, impassive,
necessitate your orchestrations
upon reciprocation.

brilliance engenders some things.
insecurity
nurtures the eventual.

recollection:
emphatic sensations terrify soulmates.

that orgiastic facade is
(a) narcoleptic disneyland,
arrestingly wan.

a yearful’s torso of
bloodied egos vindicates every remaining yes.

these exposed nervewreck desires
expanding, relentless


#‎SingPoWriMo2015Day11 ‪#‎SingPoWriMoDay11 ‪#‎marylyntan

The Secret Agent Prompt
– write an acrostic poem – where every first letter of each line forms a message.
‪#‎madnessbonus – this is real madness – make every first letter of each word form a message.