THE WAY WE DID IT

the way we did it was,
the way we used to do it,
the way we had to do it:

this could be us but u
know I fxcked it up, like
the only way I know how
to be honest is in the poetry tags
between the cheese platter and
the illustrator format. the only way
I know how to be honest
is in the middle of poems
because people skim like milk

   the beauty of a silkworm / it spins
its feelings. the history of the world
in a thread. the strongest natural material
in the world / is emotions. like atrophos
with her abhorred shears at the 5$ hairdresser /
call the salon samsara. today I choked my sink
bare with my hands / every time I comb my hair /
thoughts of you get in my eyes / 
the magus formerly
known as prince

I know you’ll pooh-pooh that. not you,
the other you. the one who’s tried
so hard to stop believing.

so, the way we used to do it. all fragment and pear / sweet blackeyed hackneyed sorghum rearing back past the parameters of good taste. mangosteen season. you know it’s offensive, but I’m so hung up on the taste of that honey. I put my face over that place in your chest and stuck a needle into the smooth plum heart there, a banana blossom larger than your fist. why’d I have to go and do that? why couldn’t I leave well enough alone?

relinquish. the red thread you tie ties you. why couldn’t I stop with the fishhooked mouth, terrorising the storm, refusing to smoke out the forest fires, tailgating, shoplifting, looking every horse in every mouth?

I’m the carmine beetle caught in my own throat. so I fucked up. I’m the dragon, I got hided and tanned, do you want anything else with that comeuppance? I invented bruising, manicures, and the sunday sermon. I’m sorry now. I’m utterly bereft and I’ll leave you to happiness / if you can withstand it. the heirloom pearls, the atlas moths. we can go to a late-night viewing if you want. it’s that time. a franchise I never got around to agreeing to watch.

stop thinking about it. today with my eyes like moonlit piss pools. recognise. I’m just a dumb ghost / hung up / on not being whole. making room. tuning the lights to an acceptable hue. pressing both thumbs down back when we still had cassette players on both fast-forward and rewind. of course you know what happens. of course you do. once I saw centipede larvae trying to maul each other fat, translucent-white, blind. utterly harmless but attempting to kill. this is not my problem but it still hurts / this is my problem so I swallow

again / so tell me what my problem is. / a hurting lane. how my fucked up feet prevent dancing. coming uncharted by wikipedia pages. taking pop lyrics as a personal affront. seeing through a veil darkly. my labyrinthine communication skills. an inability to / pick up / and put down objects at appropriate times.

DAY 5 – TYPED AN N AND YOUR NAME CAME UP

u can’t pry

how far the water falls 

flat / no depth perceived

a single third eye
wishing well means

every misplaced coin

for an I Hope

You Are Happy
regretting wrong means
the paradox of you

can have it / only if

you don’t need it

labradorite scabbed

scarab / excise me, I

just need to ventolin

fumble inhaler suck

an urgent raspy blessing. 

if you can’t close your eyes

with confidence you can’t

call it resting. / your naked tongue 

a holy text. burdensome 

and prone to mess. 
I’m saying I / know not to

wreck. / or at least better

than I should. the carbon

copies run our blood / the

photostat ink whiff is puce. 

the difference is from / come

on in & come in on. come

the fuck on / pls come back. 

I love / when violent skies. 
the ebullient bulbous. a fragment

of loud ass whisper. 

sat myself down / self-care is

conducting interrogation

with a bedside lamp.

DAY 4

NO ONE ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO USE MICROSOFT OUTLOOK

there is no WEEP in team but there is a MEAT we
create a timeline for healing with a KPI
jack-donaghy shouting SYNERGY and
you give yourself grief / being locked in the cubicle
sorrow is a vac-u-lock dong dock a
modular approach / methodical peeling
quick / what are the twelve safe sex uses
of saran wrap? how does one apply voodoo to
long-distance massages & skype substitutes?
it’s not skinning / if we’re smiling. / doesn’t
the word spitroast
get stuck in your teeth ?
leave me with the
creme fraiche. /// haven’t you
made yourself here
useful enough?

make yourself submerged
eggs. bed in benedict. aged
casks of alarm clocks and
other vibratory essences.
you are not squinting you
just slept a stupid amount.
your capillaries a
cranberry rustle. moth-
eden crumble. a shirt you
stole from her bottom drawer.
a Smart Whiteboard glitching
refusing erasing

DAY 3 – THEY SCREW RIGHT OFF AND ARE EASY TO CLEAN

sa sa sa is how hentai lesbians
hiss in pain. they say I miss. say you
’ll never be happy so go for it anyway.
not the lesson I wanted to learn.
use a reed diffuser to de-internalise
suffering. get a candle called Island Spa.
we don’t play rough any more with

the cow’s bells. I’m going to give
your teat a ring. have nothing
but oranges in my mouth. you
don’t want the stainless steel
but

in another story you
turn around. with your forearms
grasp the wheel. number 10.
which 1+0 becomes
number 1. numerology. it
is easy. know you’re bad
at math. you’re running in now
from the pitch like sweat
is free. like saltwater’s
holy. the day after I got
a stomach ache like grief
and blood between my sheets
even if it’s only number 17
of the cycle

DAY 24 – SENSATION BUFFET CONSPIRACY

SENSATION BUFFET CONSPIRACY
you said last night you think I am magic.
& you have that inescapable purple in your aura,
pivoting like vonnegut’s wampeter, which is why
the animals are magnetically-drawn to you,
unlikely cult carp whisperer.we all eventually have to do psychic maintenance
so half-hour to midnight means walking
on elevated concrete roadside benches,
holding in hand that feeling of being sure
like lollipops in the mouth or stone bracelets,
like sitting crosslegged under the esplanade bridge.

someone but not me needs to paint
your bullock shoulders your nimble wrists
your inability to unplug from Real Life:
maybe it is because you want to be
a different height that you refuse to
allow short-circuits.
is this what they mean by industry?

binding your own wrists in neoprene cuffs,
you permit leather blindfolds that can’t cover the
quirk of your smirking mouth & your insistence
that your hard-on is good for at least something,

even if it is hanging dirty towels like
a criminal execution. your kisses are

a study in botany,
like things to be taken apart and examined
under bright lights and steel tweezers.
like the ball of your thumb is a thing
to be taken to heart.

even afterthoughts of you feel like
the uniform fuzz of carefully-shaved head,
firm touches, scented turquoise pineapple
crystalline and now I know

the sound of a three-hour telephone voice
is a tall glass of citrine, sea kelapa syrup
spread excruciating over the railwork system,
like a lapdance, like the fatigue carried in the
arched feet of someone who inhabits heels, like
trails of formic acid, like
busy, busy, busy.

I miss you
even when I am next to you,
you said,

and I took this as thundercloud omen,
storms wielding wet bargaining chips
but you’ve always loved finding the sublime
in the mundane and I’ve written so many
poems about marrying the divine and the
profane that we know we can find
both pedestrian and arcane in the
rain.

you said, I am afraid
we are only really good for each other in bed
but some good advice is do what you love.
stretch before dancing. and eat more broccoli
even if you don’t particularly like it. wax
lyrical about your mussels one more time.
buddy wakefield famous slam poet says
when you feel like stepping back from the mic,
step forward.

I am backing away very slowly now so
I don’t startle you. I am whispering to the carp
instead of teaching them foucault that it is
perfect to be afraid. that it is permitted to know
you are breathtaking in spite of yourself.
buddy says, stop fucking with the moon,
so I tell you, I’ll meet you on the green platform,
on the third floor, on the astral dimension
just above this one.

DAY 12 – EMPAT PERKATAAN SAJAK KINK ED.

dental damning gummy latex
scissor sister mindfuck pretext
D-ring harness golden shower
subdrop switchblade foucault’s power
snowball fluid felching dilate
knotted hempen suspend sedate
tribbing dribble malegaze lesbian
squirter robot drilldo sybian
figging insert ginger greyhound
milking prostate sigmoid tightwound
ribbing foodsafe softvore tension
diaper regress ageplay pension
edging denied bespoke cockcage
omo bladder wetting frottage
bestial crushfreak knotting refract
unbirth dioptra med-grade inspect
nosehook strangled vacuum rigger
hypno aural cursefile trigger
blindfold gaslight sensate deprived
needled needful pleasure derived


‪#‎SingPoWriMo2015Day12 ‪#‎SingPoWriMoDay12 ‪#‎marylyntan
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The EP Prompt
– write an empat perkataan